Colour reference for Arsenic: [link] Colour 5, halfway down the page.
This poem was done for =SilverInkblot's Colour Poem Contest, found here. [link]
Taken from the description on this page:The colour arsenic is based around the element arsenic which is a dark grey-blue colour.
Keeping this is mind, for the 2,3,4 lines. I thought of stomy waves, people fighting, and the sky when the weather is in turmoil.
Arsenic is a metalloid that is often naturall found. Lines 5,6,7 - Clashing of steel blades, the chink of a shovel when digging a grave, and the agony in the cry of a lover who's lost their mate.
When people buy arsenic poison to kill rats, it's typically a white powder. Lines 8,9,10 - I used chalky to refer to the powdery state we typically find arsenic in, as well as how powders and such dry out your skin and the air. Death/toxic because you know. Poison and all.
It's in one's best interest to avoid exposure to/ingestion of arsenic, with its lethal effects. Lines 11,12,13 - Dead bodies are ice cold, void of any heat and then cramped into boxes and packed under six feet of Earth.
Your take on the form was very interesting - it's deceptively simple. The subtle rhymes are a nice touch and add a little rhythm to make up for how brief it is. I got it well enough before the author comments, but I like that you offered that extra dimension of readers to plunge into. And arsenic certainly isn't a color I ever would have thought to use
Structure an general idea is all thanks to =SilverInkblot. It was for their contest, after all! I thought it was a really strong structure, personally. I'm not a huge poet or writer or anything, so I'm not quite sure what my opinion means, but it was popular enough for her to do a contest centred around it!
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